So I was driving to get some lunch the other day, and I ended up behind a stupid, giant, redneck pick-em-up truck. Now, before you say anything, let me be the first to admit that just because a person drives a pickup doesn't mean they're automatically a redneck, yokel, hick, hillbilly, or any other backwoodsy stereotype. Why, then, would I refer to this person as such? Proof, friends! Proof. Behold:
-TWO window decals of Calvin peeing on something. Calvin was wearing a cowboy hat as well.
-Confederate flag window decal.
-American flag decal with the words, "These colors don't run" printed on it.
-"God, Guns, and Guts" decal.
-Enough stupid ribbon magnets to clog a woodchipper. Most were camoflage-colored. The hunting kind, not the army kind.
-McCain/Palin decal.
-Git 'R' Done decal.
-Decal that said, "Liberal: noun: a person so open-minded their brains have fallen out".
-All of this on a Ford F-350 with six tires.
So, on top of all of that, I have this guy's exhaust blowing right in my face. Eventually we both turned onto a main drag here in town where there are two lanes on each side instead of one. Naturally, I didn't want to be behind this person anymore, so I got in the other lane and started speeding up. I ended up right next to him as we arrived at a stop light. He looked over (both of us had our windows down, as it was a nice day) and asked if I wanted to race him. I declined, and he started to rev his engine. He kept looking at me too.
"That's great!" I yelled in a sarcastic manner. Even threw in a thumbs-up.
"Put up or shut up, buddy!" he said, putting his tongue in his cheek.
I started laughing. I mean, the guy looked ridiculous. He had to have been in his forties as well. I shook my head.
"What's funny, faggot?" He yelled. "What's funny?"
I just kept shaking my head. The light turned green and after the cars ahead of us started driving, we began to accelerate. He immediately started tailgating the guy in front of him until the guy changed lanes, then he sped off.
"What an idiot," I said to myself.
'Til next time...
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Books! Check 'Em Out.
To sort of break away from my schoolwork, I started reading a novel I found in my closet. Honestly, I had forgotten that I even bought it, and I'm not too sure how long it's been there. The book is 'A Confederacy Of Dunces' by John Kennedy Toole. Let me just say, I haven't read any fiction in a LONG time. This is my first time reading this book, too. I bought it without even knowing what it was about; something about it just grabbed me, and I liked the title. Having said all that, I am absolutely loving it. It is so funny and well-written. It's making me want to start writing again, too. I used to write a lot in high school, and I always thought that I would end up a writer, but then all that just kind of tapered off. I never thought I was that good at it or anything, but I always thought it would be awesome to write a book. I still do, and that spark is starting to flare up again.
It feels kind of tingly.
Wait, what? Moving on.
Getting back to fiction is something I'm becoming very interested in now. Can anyone recommend any really good books? After this one I have a short stack of books by Kurt Vonnegut that I haven't read yet, but after that I'm going to be all out of options. Help me out, readers!
'Til next time...
It feels kind of tingly.
Wait, what? Moving on.
Getting back to fiction is something I'm becoming very interested in now. Can anyone recommend any really good books? After this one I have a short stack of books by Kurt Vonnegut that I haven't read yet, but after that I'm going to be all out of options. Help me out, readers!
'Til next time...
Friday, April 24, 2009
That Gets My Goat.
To those who constantly wear those idiotic bluetooth earpiece phone things--stop it. You look absurd. There's some middle-aged prick who has a seat near me at the arena, and he always shows up with one of those goddamn things on. What a tool. Honestly, why would you even need that at a hockey game? Can your devastatingly important business life not wait two hours? Apparently not.
To those who have the entire road ahead of them and proceed to drive 35 miles an hour in a 50 mile an hour zone--get off the damn road. Anyone who doesn't notice that they're backing up traffic for a quarter-mile because they're too busy talking on a phone or pointing out random locations to their passengers should not be allowed to drive. It is stupid and severely annoying. Pay attention, moron.
To those who use public restrooms and don't flush afterwards--you are unbelievably disgusting. There's a reason that little handle is there. It's so your fucking piss and shit doesn't sit and stink up the place. What's that you say? You don't want to touch a filthy public toilet? Oh, I see. Yeah, it's too bad they don't have some way for you to clean your hands in a bathroom. If they did, it would be no trouble to flush. Oh wait, that's what those sinks are for?! Get right out!
To those who believe they know everything, and feel the need to share that with everyone around them--you are ridiculous. People like you have a lot to learn, including how to shut the hell up.
To those who are reading this blog and do so on a somewhat regular occasion--thanks. You guys are awesome.
'Til next time...
To those who have the entire road ahead of them and proceed to drive 35 miles an hour in a 50 mile an hour zone--get off the damn road. Anyone who doesn't notice that they're backing up traffic for a quarter-mile because they're too busy talking on a phone or pointing out random locations to their passengers should not be allowed to drive. It is stupid and severely annoying. Pay attention, moron.
To those who use public restrooms and don't flush afterwards--you are unbelievably disgusting. There's a reason that little handle is there. It's so your fucking piss and shit doesn't sit and stink up the place. What's that you say? You don't want to touch a filthy public toilet? Oh, I see. Yeah, it's too bad they don't have some way for you to clean your hands in a bathroom. If they did, it would be no trouble to flush. Oh wait, that's what those sinks are for?! Get right out!
To those who believe they know everything, and feel the need to share that with everyone around them--you are ridiculous. People like you have a lot to learn, including how to shut the hell up.
To those who are reading this blog and do so on a somewhat regular occasion--thanks. You guys are awesome.
'Til next time...
Sunday, April 19, 2009
My Co-Workers
Hi all,
As I have established in previous entries here, I work at a large grocery store called Giant Eagle. I have worked there for entirely too long, and I hate it with a passion. Until about six or seven months ago, I worked nights, and that effectively crushed my soul and screwed up my health for a while. Since I've switched to mornings, I've met a lot of new folks. Some are nice, some are annoying. Here's the rundown, using nicknames that I have created:
-"Gung Ho"--> This guy is OBSESSED with the military. He's in the reserves. He spends those monthly weekends sitting in a booth watching TV, but he acts like he's been in the shit or something. He will start talking about 'maneuvers', or 'regs', or the 'CMH' at a moment's notice. Honestly, most of the time we won't even be talking about military stuff and he'll just say something out of the blue to change the subject. He especially likes to do it when customers walk by, and he'll be louder about it if said customer happens to be a young woman. I feel like the Dude in Big Lebowski when Walter starts talking about Vietnam. He purposely says things in armyspeak. He refers to our starting time as "oh-seven-hundred". We have to wear walkie talkies. He LOVES that. He always keeps his turned up REALLY loud, too, so customers can hear it and be impressed, or something. If someone calls him on it, he'll make a huge deal of retrieving it from his belt loop, cock his arm really fast, give a cool, casual look to the nearest individual and say, "Go ahead." He comes back from breaks early, too. Who the hell does that? Honestly.
-Mouth #1--> This lady thinks she has to know every single goddamn thing that goes on, ever. She is quite possibly THE biggest gossip I've ever come in contact with, and I used to go to church! She'll always walk up and start with the same phrase--"Did you hear what happened to...". She loves all of those VH1 reality shows. I think she kinda gets off on 'sniffing other people's dirty laundry', so to speak. That brings me to...
-Mouth #2--> Okay, this guy's almost worse. He talks relentlessly about everyone on our shift, but he'll act like he doesn't. I made the mistake early on of telling him something mildly personal, and the next day an employee I didn't even know approached me and started giving out advice. From then on, I knew not to tell him anything. Sometimes when I'm bored, though, I'll tell him a total lie and see how long it takes for it to get around. It's a fun game I like to play sometimes.
-Captain Paperwork--> This guy is a joke. According to him, everything has to be done according to these stupid lists they've been trying to implement. If the list says one person has to do a job in one hour that it would normally take two people an hour to do, then there's no reason why one person shouldn't get it done in that hour. Make sense? Of course not. Nothing is designed around common sense. This guy sits in an office and makes and laminates charts, then comes down and bitches at us while he posts them on our walls.
-Deliverance--> Total redneck. The first time I met this guy, I said hi to him. He stared at me, breathing through his stupid mouth, and did not say ONE WORD. He continued to stare at me until I walked off. Since then he's asked me if I'm a "faygeet", and told me if I was to stay away from him. One of the very few people I would like to hit. I wouldn't, but it's fun to think about it sometimes.
There are actually a few people who work there that are really cool, too, including my former co-workers from the night shift, and a very lovely young lady who works in a different department. She's insanely nice and really fun and easy to talk to. She's also very attractive. And, of course, she has a boyfriend. With my luck, I'm becoming someone who's "like a sister" to her. It's not like I'm trying to put the moves on her or anything, but damn.
Wrapping up, the moral of this story is that I need to quit working at this place and move far, far away. Also, I'm kind of hungry.
'Til next time...
As I have established in previous entries here, I work at a large grocery store called Giant Eagle. I have worked there for entirely too long, and I hate it with a passion. Until about six or seven months ago, I worked nights, and that effectively crushed my soul and screwed up my health for a while. Since I've switched to mornings, I've met a lot of new folks. Some are nice, some are annoying. Here's the rundown, using nicknames that I have created:
-"Gung Ho"--> This guy is OBSESSED with the military. He's in the reserves. He spends those monthly weekends sitting in a booth watching TV, but he acts like he's been in the shit or something. He will start talking about 'maneuvers', or 'regs', or the 'CMH' at a moment's notice. Honestly, most of the time we won't even be talking about military stuff and he'll just say something out of the blue to change the subject. He especially likes to do it when customers walk by, and he'll be louder about it if said customer happens to be a young woman. I feel like the Dude in Big Lebowski when Walter starts talking about Vietnam. He purposely says things in armyspeak. He refers to our starting time as "oh-seven-hundred". We have to wear walkie talkies. He LOVES that. He always keeps his turned up REALLY loud, too, so customers can hear it and be impressed, or something. If someone calls him on it, he'll make a huge deal of retrieving it from his belt loop, cock his arm really fast, give a cool, casual look to the nearest individual and say, "Go ahead." He comes back from breaks early, too. Who the hell does that? Honestly.
-Mouth #1--> This lady thinks she has to know every single goddamn thing that goes on, ever. She is quite possibly THE biggest gossip I've ever come in contact with, and I used to go to church! She'll always walk up and start with the same phrase--"Did you hear what happened to...". She loves all of those VH1 reality shows. I think she kinda gets off on 'sniffing other people's dirty laundry', so to speak. That brings me to...
-Mouth #2--> Okay, this guy's almost worse. He talks relentlessly about everyone on our shift, but he'll act like he doesn't. I made the mistake early on of telling him something mildly personal, and the next day an employee I didn't even know approached me and started giving out advice. From then on, I knew not to tell him anything. Sometimes when I'm bored, though, I'll tell him a total lie and see how long it takes for it to get around. It's a fun game I like to play sometimes.
-Captain Paperwork--> This guy is a joke. According to him, everything has to be done according to these stupid lists they've been trying to implement. If the list says one person has to do a job in one hour that it would normally take two people an hour to do, then there's no reason why one person shouldn't get it done in that hour. Make sense? Of course not. Nothing is designed around common sense. This guy sits in an office and makes and laminates charts, then comes down and bitches at us while he posts them on our walls.
-Deliverance--> Total redneck. The first time I met this guy, I said hi to him. He stared at me, breathing through his stupid mouth, and did not say ONE WORD. He continued to stare at me until I walked off. Since then he's asked me if I'm a "faygeet", and told me if I was to stay away from him. One of the very few people I would like to hit. I wouldn't, but it's fun to think about it sometimes.
There are actually a few people who work there that are really cool, too, including my former co-workers from the night shift, and a very lovely young lady who works in a different department. She's insanely nice and really fun and easy to talk to. She's also very attractive. And, of course, she has a boyfriend. With my luck, I'm becoming someone who's "like a sister" to her. It's not like I'm trying to put the moves on her or anything, but damn.
Wrapping up, the moral of this story is that I need to quit working at this place and move far, far away. Also, I'm kind of hungry.
'Til next time...
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Title That Sums Up Blog Entry
Well, here it is Sunday night again, and I'm trying to scramble to finish my homework. Ha, that's why I'm on here, I guess.
I saw this guy at work today that I went to high school with. I'll call him Frank. Actually, he was a grade ahead of me, but I had a few classes with him. It's funny; as soon as I saw him, it reminded me of the prom that took place my junior year. My friends and I did not go. Being the anti-social punks we were, we felt it would not be cool or fun to get dressed up and go dance to lame, mushy songs about loving love. So instead, four of us got together and went for a ride. We drove all over town, and our trip eventually took us past the high school. One of us, in passing, commented that it would be funny to park and stand outside the school so we could make fun of people and just be generally obnoxious. We all agreed, and my friend parked his car in the main lot. We ventured toward the front doors where well-dressed teens were arriving in small groups. We walked into the entryway, but were promptly shown the door by a teacher. Apparently ripped jeans and leather jackets are not traditional prom wear. Plus, we found out that tickets were required to gain access to the gym. That's where all the action was, apparently. Upon finding this out, we walked out and stood in front of the main entrance, and proceeded to act as ticket-takers. It was pretty fun. A senior would walk up with his date, and I'd say, "Tickets please." The best part was that no one even questioned it. They consistently handed them over, never thinking, "Hey, why are the weird loser kids working at the prom? I thought they hated this stuff." Anyway, they'd hand over their tickets, one of us would tear them in half and hand them back. Then, for good measure, we'd throw in a 'have a nice time', or 'okay, you can go in now.'
We did that to a good fifteen couples before someone came out and busted us. We were asked to leave. We retaliated by tearing down the neatly printed signs that were hanging on the doors after the offending party went back inside, most likely to make sure there was no groping going on on the dancefloor. As we were walking away, a large, rented vehicle pulled up in front of us. Frank got out--stumbled out, is more like it. He had a girl with him, who had more than likely been taken advantage of in a drunken backseat brawl. Surprisingly, he approached me.
"Hey man," he slurred. "When's the latest we can get in here?"
Now--the signs had all the info, like how you would not be admitted any later than 12:00 midnight, clearly printed on them; in a lovely font to boot. However, those signs were in the trash, courtesy of yours truly. So...
"You'll be good 'til three."
"Great! We'll be back a little before then."
"Alrighty, just make sure you have your tickets. Wouldn't wanna get stuck outside!"
And with that, they left. Then, my friends and I did the same. I always kinda wondered what ended up happening, but I hadn't thought about it in years. It was the first thing that popped into my head, though, when I saw him today. I chuckled to myself, remembering that time, and other similar times. I hated high school, but times like that bring back fond memories. A lot of them make for pretty good stories. Several more come to mind, but maybe for another time. I have trigonometry homework to do.
'Til next time...
I saw this guy at work today that I went to high school with. I'll call him Frank. Actually, he was a grade ahead of me, but I had a few classes with him. It's funny; as soon as I saw him, it reminded me of the prom that took place my junior year. My friends and I did not go. Being the anti-social punks we were, we felt it would not be cool or fun to get dressed up and go dance to lame, mushy songs about loving love. So instead, four of us got together and went for a ride. We drove all over town, and our trip eventually took us past the high school. One of us, in passing, commented that it would be funny to park and stand outside the school so we could make fun of people and just be generally obnoxious. We all agreed, and my friend parked his car in the main lot. We ventured toward the front doors where well-dressed teens were arriving in small groups. We walked into the entryway, but were promptly shown the door by a teacher. Apparently ripped jeans and leather jackets are not traditional prom wear. Plus, we found out that tickets were required to gain access to the gym. That's where all the action was, apparently. Upon finding this out, we walked out and stood in front of the main entrance, and proceeded to act as ticket-takers. It was pretty fun. A senior would walk up with his date, and I'd say, "Tickets please." The best part was that no one even questioned it. They consistently handed them over, never thinking, "Hey, why are the weird loser kids working at the prom? I thought they hated this stuff." Anyway, they'd hand over their tickets, one of us would tear them in half and hand them back. Then, for good measure, we'd throw in a 'have a nice time', or 'okay, you can go in now.'
We did that to a good fifteen couples before someone came out and busted us. We were asked to leave. We retaliated by tearing down the neatly printed signs that were hanging on the doors after the offending party went back inside, most likely to make sure there was no groping going on on the dancefloor. As we were walking away, a large, rented vehicle pulled up in front of us. Frank got out--stumbled out, is more like it. He had a girl with him, who had more than likely been taken advantage of in a drunken backseat brawl. Surprisingly, he approached me.
"Hey man," he slurred. "When's the latest we can get in here?"
Now--the signs had all the info, like how you would not be admitted any later than 12:00 midnight, clearly printed on them; in a lovely font to boot. However, those signs were in the trash, courtesy of yours truly. So...
"You'll be good 'til three."
"Great! We'll be back a little before then."
"Alrighty, just make sure you have your tickets. Wouldn't wanna get stuck outside!"
And with that, they left. Then, my friends and I did the same. I always kinda wondered what ended up happening, but I hadn't thought about it in years. It was the first thing that popped into my head, though, when I saw him today. I chuckled to myself, remembering that time, and other similar times. I hated high school, but times like that bring back fond memories. A lot of them make for pretty good stories. Several more come to mind, but maybe for another time. I have trigonometry homework to do.
'Til next time...
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Recent iTunes Purchases
Alright everyone. Hopefully we can all agree that being able to buy and download almost any album from iTunes is freaking sweet. Personally, I have been going a bit crazy with the downloads lately. (What else am I gonna do with my tax refund--save it for something important?! Pfft.) I just looked in my purchases, and this is what I saw:
Screeching Weasel - Wiggle
The Methadones - Career Objective
The Methadones - Not Economically Viable
The Amino Acids - Destroy The Warming Sun
The Bird & The Bee - Ray Guns Are Not Just The Future
Descendents - Somery
Blitzkid - Anatomy Of Re-Animation, Vol. 1
Black Flag - Wasted...Again
Circle Jerks - Group Sex
The Germs - GI
D.O.A. - Hardcore '81
The Damned - Damned Damned Damned
X - Wild Gift
Against All Authority - Destroy What Destroys You
Rancid - S/T ('93)
Smashing Pumpkins - Gish
Now, this may not look like that many albums, but this is like a week's worth of buying here. For me, it's quite a bit, and I did not even realize that I was accumulating so much music in such a short time. I put it to you, fellow Bloggers--what albums have you gotten recently? More than this? Less?
ooh. I still need the latest Maria Taylor album. I might make myself wait, though. Crap.
'Til next time...
Screeching Weasel - Wiggle
The Methadones - Career Objective
The Methadones - Not Economically Viable
The Amino Acids - Destroy The Warming Sun
The Bird & The Bee - Ray Guns Are Not Just The Future
Descendents - Somery
Blitzkid - Anatomy Of Re-Animation, Vol. 1
Black Flag - Wasted...Again
Circle Jerks - Group Sex
The Germs - GI
D.O.A. - Hardcore '81
The Damned - Damned Damned Damned
X - Wild Gift
Against All Authority - Destroy What Destroys You
Rancid - S/T ('93)
Smashing Pumpkins - Gish
Now, this may not look like that many albums, but this is like a week's worth of buying here. For me, it's quite a bit, and I did not even realize that I was accumulating so much music in such a short time. I put it to you, fellow Bloggers--what albums have you gotten recently? More than this? Less?
ooh. I still need the latest Maria Taylor album. I might make myself wait, though. Crap.
'Til next time...
Monday, April 6, 2009
How long was I out?
Hey everybody! I'm back after another long break to do an update of sorts. I've been super-busy with school lately, and I just have not made time for the ol' blog. I'm currently trying not to let math kick my ass this quarter; I'm only in precalculus and I'm already feeling slightly overwhelmed. I think it's mainly because my teacher talks and writes really fast and assumes that it's just as easy for everyone in the class as it is for him. I end up learning the lessons on my own at home. It sucks, but I'm just glad I can actually understand it. I'm also taking the second class of a two-part Astronomy sequence: Stars and Galaxies. I love it. Hell, I should: I'm majoring in astronomy. It's technically a basic course, but it's giving me a basic idea of what I'm in for over the course of the next 2-3 years. Right now we're learning about the properties of light and General Relativity. Being the nerd that I am, I'm on the edge of my seat over this stuff, even though I've got a LONG way to go before I'll actually understand it. Even then, it's a strange concept. In the fall, after I've gotten my calculus to the required level, I'm going to load up on the physics classes. Let the fun begin!
So, I'm really excited about my school situation right now. The only thing that's kind of worrying me is the fact that all of the scientific thinking I've been doing is slowly eroding away my creativity. Not TOO much, mind you, but I'm having to concentrate so much on the scientific method that I'm not left with much time or space* to write songs or think up cool movie ideas. I've never made any of those ideas realities, but they were still fun to think of. I'm mostly optimistic that the reason for this current lapse is that I'm trying to learn a lot of stuff at once, but it tugs at me a little that I haven't picked up my guitar for a few weeks or thought of a cool way for a guy to kill a zombie with a spatula. Writing this helps a little.
Well, other than school, not much has changed. I still have the same crappy job, and I still strike out with the ladies, actually even more so now. I interact with more girls now that I'm down on campus a lot more, so the rejections and awkward blow-offs are now more frequent. I figure if I keep trying, something good will happen. That or I'll continue to only draw attention from middle-aged women and guys.
Actually, quite a few guys have hit on me the past two quarters. I guess if I was gay I wouldn't have to worry about finding a date.
Another thing that's hunky dory here in Columbus is the story of my beloved Blue Jackets. Right now they are on the brink of making the playoffs for the first time in team history. What's more is that I have guaranteed seats for those postseason games, which is AWESOME. They played the other night against Chicago, and it felt just like a playoff game. It was amazing. I mean, they lost in overtime, but it was one of the best sontests I've ever seen. Imagining that type of game in the actual postseason is quite exciting, to say the least. As for other teams in the race, I like Philadelphia in the East, and I'm really impressed with San Jose this season. I like Chicago too, but don't tell anyone around here.
Okay, well, I have to wake up for work in three hours, so that's it for tonight.
'Til next time...
So, I'm really excited about my school situation right now. The only thing that's kind of worrying me is the fact that all of the scientific thinking I've been doing is slowly eroding away my creativity. Not TOO much, mind you, but I'm having to concentrate so much on the scientific method that I'm not left with much time or space* to write songs or think up cool movie ideas. I've never made any of those ideas realities, but they were still fun to think of. I'm mostly optimistic that the reason for this current lapse is that I'm trying to learn a lot of stuff at once, but it tugs at me a little that I haven't picked up my guitar for a few weeks or thought of a cool way for a guy to kill a zombie with a spatula. Writing this helps a little.
Well, other than school, not much has changed. I still have the same crappy job, and I still strike out with the ladies, actually even more so now. I interact with more girls now that I'm down on campus a lot more, so the rejections and awkward blow-offs are now more frequent. I figure if I keep trying, something good will happen. That or I'll continue to only draw attention from middle-aged women and guys.
Actually, quite a few guys have hit on me the past two quarters. I guess if I was gay I wouldn't have to worry about finding a date.
Another thing that's hunky dory here in Columbus is the story of my beloved Blue Jackets. Right now they are on the brink of making the playoffs for the first time in team history. What's more is that I have guaranteed seats for those postseason games, which is AWESOME. They played the other night against Chicago, and it felt just like a playoff game. It was amazing. I mean, they lost in overtime, but it was one of the best sontests I've ever seen. Imagining that type of game in the actual postseason is quite exciting, to say the least. As for other teams in the race, I like Philadelphia in the East, and I'm really impressed with San Jose this season. I like Chicago too, but don't tell anyone around here.
Okay, well, I have to wake up for work in three hours, so that's it for tonight.
'Til next time...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
