You know what's awesome? The BBC series "Planet Earth", that's what. My friend just got a high-def flatscreen, a PS3 (which plays Blu-Ray DVDs) and said series (on Blu-Ray. I realize that everyone was on board there, and that this side note is completely pointless. Moving on.). We watched an episode when I went over there yesterday, and it was the most amazing thing I've ever seen. EVER. We ended up watching the first three episodes, and I can't wait to see the rest. I recommend Planet Earth more highly than anything I've ever recommended before, and that may be a surprise to any of you who know me quite well as a staunch supporter and advocate of pizza parties.
You know what's not awesome? Laughing when you're talking to an attractive young lady and shooting something out of your nose.* Seriously, how do you recover from that? There's no fucking way she's gonna think you're cool after that, and you'd be a fool to think that it could possibly come off as 'cute' (no matter how many times you're replaying the incident in slow motion in your mind as you're driving back from the store where it happened so you can get on your blog and vent about it.).
Nope, that could not have looked remotely cute. That is gross. I am gross. A big, gross idiot.
Idiot.
On the plus side, though, I got to have a nice conversation with myself on the way back to my car:
"Hey Jon, why are you single?"
"Oh, because I do odd, quirky things when I'm around girls, like when I basically blew my nose on my upper lip whilst laughing, remember that? Yeah, just the usual, normal reasons."
"Wow, that sounds pretty abnormal, actually. Kinda gross, too."
"Oh no, I think it definitely won me some points for cuteness, right? Girls think stuff like that can be cute, right? Like endearing?"
"..."
"Right?"
"Wha--oh yeah, for sure. Good work there, dude."
"Yep."
~FIN~
Oh well. I guess we can all learn from our mistakes. You can't win 'em all. There's plenty of fish in the sea. Don't count your chickens before they hatch.
That last one doesn't really apply at all.
Hell, at least "Planet Earth" is still cool, right?
*I would've also accepted "shark attacks".
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Monday, January 28, 2008
Intros and Openings
Well, this is the first time I've written one of these outside of Myspace. I'm Jon, and I'll sounding off on random things, thought nuggets that pass through my brain, and events from my life that I feel I need to share.
First off, I'm becoming a hypochondriac. (Side Note: I hopped on dictionary.com to make sure I spelled that right. I don't want to come off looking like a moron on my first day.) I used to not even think about disease and illness, but for about a year now, I've been getting worried about the slightest things. In the past few months, I've diagnosed myself with several different types of cancer, deep vein thrombosis, and a brain malady or two. None have been accurate, but they've all freaked me out. I went to the doctor a while back because I kept getting these nosebleeds. Turns out it's just the cold weather that's doing it, but I was convinced that I was dying. My heart kind of drops whenever I get a runny nose--I picture gallons of blood shooting out of me.
Moving on.
I have a problem talking to girls. I stumble over my words, or just don't say anything and walk by as fast as I can without tripping. So ladies: if you see me stumbling past you or if I say "good morning" to you at ten o'clock at night, that means I'm interested in getting to know you. Please respond accordingly.
I played Star Wars Battlefront on my PS2 for awhile today, and I totally killed a bunch of rebel scumbags. My sniper rifle/blaster pistol combo left them high and dry--and DEAD.
I'm going through musical withrawal right now. I sold all of my instruments (with the exception of my drum kit, which is at a friend's house) and have nothing to play. I need a guitar bad. If I listen really carefully, I think I can hear a Telecaster Thinline and a Twin Reverb calling for me.
Wait, that's just my cat. She probably threw up on my pillow or something.
So what is that saying about first impressions?
Something.
Okay, talk to you later.
-Jon
First off, I'm becoming a hypochondriac. (Side Note: I hopped on dictionary.com to make sure I spelled that right. I don't want to come off looking like a moron on my first day.) I used to not even think about disease and illness, but for about a year now, I've been getting worried about the slightest things. In the past few months, I've diagnosed myself with several different types of cancer, deep vein thrombosis, and a brain malady or two. None have been accurate, but they've all freaked me out. I went to the doctor a while back because I kept getting these nosebleeds. Turns out it's just the cold weather that's doing it, but I was convinced that I was dying. My heart kind of drops whenever I get a runny nose--I picture gallons of blood shooting out of me.
Moving on.
I have a problem talking to girls. I stumble over my words, or just don't say anything and walk by as fast as I can without tripping. So ladies: if you see me stumbling past you or if I say "good morning" to you at ten o'clock at night, that means I'm interested in getting to know you. Please respond accordingly.
I played Star Wars Battlefront on my PS2 for awhile today, and I totally killed a bunch of rebel scumbags. My sniper rifle/blaster pistol combo left them high and dry--and DEAD.
I'm going through musical withrawal right now. I sold all of my instruments (with the exception of my drum kit, which is at a friend's house) and have nothing to play. I need a guitar bad. If I listen really carefully, I think I can hear a Telecaster Thinline and a Twin Reverb calling for me.
Wait, that's just my cat. She probably threw up on my pillow or something.
So what is that saying about first impressions?
Something.
Okay, talk to you later.
-Jon
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