Awesome/Not Awesome

You know what's awesome? The BBC series "Planet Earth", that's what. My friend just got a high-def flatscreen, a PS3 (which plays Blu-Ray DVDs) and said series (on Blu-Ray. I realize that everyone was on board there, and that this side note is completely pointless. Moving on.). We watched an episode when I went over there yesterday, and it was the most amazing thing I've ever seen. EVER. We ended up watching the first three episodes, and I can't wait to see the rest. I recommend Planet Earth more highly than anything I've ever recommended before, and that may be a surprise to any of you who know me quite well as a staunch supporter and advocate of pizza parties.

You know what's not awesome? Laughing when you're talking to an attractive young lady and shooting something out of your nose.* Seriously, how do you recover from that? There's no fucking way she's gonna think you're cool after that, and you'd be a fool to think that it could possibly come off as 'cute' (no matter how many times you're replaying the incident in slow motion in your mind as you're driving back from the store where it happened so you can get on your blog and vent about it.).

Nope, that could not have looked remotely cute. That is gross. I am gross. A big, gross idiot.

Idiot.

On the plus side, though, I got to have a nice conversation with myself on the way back to my car:

"Hey Jon, why are you single?"

"Oh, because I do odd, quirky things when I'm around girls, like when I basically blew my nose on my upper lip whilst laughing, remember that? Yeah, just the usual, normal reasons."

"Wow, that sounds pretty abnormal, actually. Kinda gross, too."

"Oh no, I think it definitely won me some points for cuteness, right? Girls think stuff like that can be cute, right? Like endearing?"

"..."

"Right?"

"Wha--oh yeah, for sure. Good work there, dude."

"Yep."

~FIN~

Oh well. I guess we can all learn from our mistakes. You can't win 'em all. There's plenty of fish in the sea. Don't count your chickens before they hatch.

That last one doesn't really apply at all.

Hell, at least "Planet Earth" is still cool, right?




*I would've also accepted "shark attacks".