O-hi-yuh!

So I was driving to get some lunch the other day, and I ended up behind a stupid, giant, redneck pick-em-up truck. Now, before you say anything, let me be the first to admit that just because a person drives a pickup doesn't mean they're automatically a redneck, yokel, hick, hillbilly, or any other backwoodsy stereotype. Why, then, would I refer to this person as such? Proof, friends! Proof. Behold:

-TWO window decals of Calvin peeing on something. Calvin was wearing a cowboy hat as well.

-Confederate flag window decal.

-American flag decal with the words, "These colors don't run" printed on it.

-"God, Guns, and Guts" decal.

-Enough stupid ribbon magnets to clog a woodchipper. Most were camoflage-colored. The hunting kind, not the army kind.

-McCain/Palin decal.

-Git 'R' Done decal.

-Decal that said, "Liberal: noun: a person so open-minded their brains have fallen out".

-All of this on a Ford F-350 with six tires.

So, on top of all of that, I have this guy's exhaust blowing right in my face. Eventually we both turned onto a main drag here in town where there are two lanes on each side instead of one. Naturally, I didn't want to be behind this person anymore, so I got in the other lane and started speeding up. I ended up right next to him as we arrived at a stop light. He looked over (both of us had our windows down, as it was a nice day) and asked if I wanted to race him. I declined, and he started to rev his engine. He kept looking at me too.

"That's great!" I yelled in a sarcastic manner. Even threw in a thumbs-up.

"Put up or shut up, buddy!" he said, putting his tongue in his cheek.

I started laughing. I mean, the guy looked ridiculous. He had to have been in his forties as well. I shook my head.

"What's funny, faggot?" He yelled. "What's funny?"

I just kept shaking my head. The light turned green and after the cars ahead of us started driving, we began to accelerate. He immediately started tailgating the guy in front of him until the guy changed lanes, then he sped off.

"What an idiot," I said to myself.

'Til next time...